The Sims

I have developed two analogies for understanding The Sims. One: this game finally creates interactive French cinema; and two: that we all live very sad TV lives.

Most movies coming out of Hollywood follow a familiar theme (no wonder John Grisham books are so easily translated). Young good-looking character challenges all odds yet manages to win the girl/guy and live happily ever after. While this can be great entertainment, it's certainly not art. For art, try a foreign film. Young average-looking character faces insurmountable challenges, meets an angst-ridden girl/guy and one or both die. That's life; that's art.

Martha Stewart's Living

If you enjoy an occasional foreign film and aren't already on anti-depressants, The Sims may be the perfect game for you. Which is a bit strange - The Sims is almost certainly not a game. After playing five hours of Unreal Tournament I rise from the chair feeling slightly bouncy with a heightened sense of excitement. After five hours of The Sims, I rise from the chair feeling depressed and unhappy with my meager existence, yet eager to play again. Very, very odd. Kierkegaard would be proud.

Have you ever dreamed that you were working? You know the dream - you work and work and work, waking completely tired only to face nine hours of real work at your real job. That, my friends, is exactly what playing The Sims feels like. After several hours of housework, cooking, bathing and watching TV, it's time to put the computer away and clean the house, grab a snack, take a shower and watch TV before turning in for the night. Yet as you lie in your real bed all you can think about is cooking, bathing, watching more TV and going to work (with your Sim family) all the while planning tomorrow's real world activities of working, cooking, cleaning and watching TV and playing The Sims. This is one sick life we lead.

Days of Our Lives

At first, The Sims struck me as an interesting academic exercise, but not much entertainment. My Sim-family was not happy, the house was perpetually in need of cleaning, and nobody got along with each other. No matter how much I tried, I never felt in touch with my family. I can have all of that without turning on a computer. Even when Child Protective Services took away that brat of a child (thank goodness), I never really found myself wrapped up in the game (and without my real-world bratty kid around, I have more time to play on the computer - just kidding). In a moment of enlightenment, I decided to create a Sim family reflective of my real life. I made a Sim wife similar to my real-world wife. I created a Sim mother-in-law that I didn't get along with, a Sim-brother with a Sim-babe of a wife, and a Sim-sister-in-law with a friendly Sim-boyfriend.

I immediately took over the role of my sister-in-law and pissed off her Sim-Mom (take that!). This was fairly easy, as I made Sim-Mother-in-law exactly like the real-world-mother-in-law. I then took over my Sim-Brother's house and invited myself (Sim-Ty) over for dinner. Once Sim-Ty was in the house, Sim-Babe started making nice in the hot tub. Before long, Sim-Ty and Sim-Babe were sneaking away for kisses. This was working out perfectly! Naturally, Sim-Wife got a bit angry at the budding romance, but she brought this on herself. For years I've been complaining that she doesn't... wait, is this getting too personal?

The next day (in real life) I came home, started The Sims, and found (to my horror) that my real-world wife had patched things up between Sim-Ty and Sim-Wife. All my hard work for nothing. Not only that, but she had managed to get me promoted at work and had bought me a large-screen TV. She was keeping the house clean, had taken a few cooking classes, and appeared to really want this relationship to work. Perhaps this was the spark we needed to re-light the fire after ten years of marriage. I felt guilty for trying to seduce Sim-Babe (especially for betraying my brother, who remained a loyal buddy). This was all very confusing. Maybe she was sending me a message. But was she simply playing the game or did she really want to revitalize our marriage? Was I getting the two confused?

On the lighter side, my Sim-Wife caught herself on fire while cooking. Sim-Ty came to the rescue to extinguish the flames. I sent Sim-daughter over to assist, but a child cannot use a fire extinguisher. Instead, she tickled Sim-Mom while she burned. I was laughing so hard it hurt.

The X-Files

This was just way too weird, like something from the X-Files. I happened across one of the many The Sims fan sites and uncovered X-Files skins. I downloaded a Sim-Scully and Sim-Mulder. I'm not much of an X-Files fan, but figured that playing as Sim-Scully/Sim-Mulder would be a good framework for the game.

I moved the X-Family into my neighborhood, used the money cheat to build a very nice house, and set about moving Agent Scully into a promising career in medicine. Police work isn't really an option, so I ran Mulder through the scientific career track (serves him right). I tried my best to fit into the neighborhood. Though Mulder and Scully are quite different, their personalities meshed well together. Their complimentary personality traits created an easy-to-manage environment. Before long, both had moved up the career ladder and seemed quite happy.

Then something quite amazing happened: Agent Mulder arrived home from work. Usually, a message box appears saying something like "Agent Mulder earned $450 today. [OK]" Instead, I received this message "Agent Mulder has found the remains of an alien spaceship, finally proving his theories. He receives $1,000,000 for the artifacts. [OK]"

As I scurried to grab a screenshot, the message box disappeared and a new one took its place: "It turns out the spaceship was another hoax. Sorry [OK]" Somebody at Maxis has a real sense of humor.

A Docu-Drama

I am very impressed by this game for a variety of reasons. It doesn't provide the traditional gaming experience (which is a good thing), and though I can't say the game is fun, it certainly is addictive. Well, maybe not addictive, but I don't mind playing it. I am also surprised at its wide audience appeal. My real-world-wife doesn't play computer games. The last game she played was Theme Hospital and before that, Super Mario World. She doesn't enjoy computer games. But The Sims is very different. I can't keep her away (and now she's neglecting housework and our kids go hungry and unbathed). She's probably spent more time with The Sims than she has with her family in the past week.

The Sims is also one of the more-polished games I've played. >From its open-architecture design to the highly-flexible gameplay options, everything about this game feels complete. For example: I loaded my favorite MP3 files into The Sims directory and can listen to them when I turn on a Sim radio. I downloaded new furniture from The Sims' web site. I downloaded new skins from a fan site. With this expandable game engine, fans will quickly enhance the game in ways the designers never imagined. I have already seen Star Wars skins, log cabin houses, and a variety of interior decoration schemes. I am already imagining The Simpsons living next door to The Brady Bunch.

A Re-Run

On the negative side, as with most of Maxis' games, a higher-goal never materializes. Once you've played through the life-cycle of a family you won't get much else from the game playing again. The game sometimes feels a bit too tedious. Instead of telling a Sim to "Clean the kitchen" you must select each individual dish to clean. It's not any fun to point and click, yet this happens far too often. As a result, practically every gamer will eventually hire a maid for housework and a gardener for yard work.

Two other activities also take up too much of your time: bathing and using the toilet. While I agree these are both important (and sometimes pleasant) activities, The Sims should have a bit more autonomy with these actions. Instead, the game never rises above the micro-management details of everyday life. I want that level of control, but I'd also like to take a more general approach to some actions. You can't let your Sims coast even for a day without unpredictable consequences.

Finally, cheating is not only helpful, but also downright essential for success. Some career paths require a large number of family friends. If you haven't yet built a neighborhood of families, your Sim can never advance. To fix that problem, build a house for "The Friendlies" and stuff it full of happy, friendly people. Then return control back to your main family and start making friends. Fortunately, cheating doesn't ruin the game. Even with the money cheat enabled, your life becomes only slightly more tolerable. Everyone still uses the toilet regardless of income.

The Sims is not fun; it is not a game; and is definitely worth buying. Just keep it away from the wife.

Review By GamesDomain